Prayer Needed

When my Dad passed away in 2005 I felt a huge amount of devastation and grief at the same time a large burden was lifted off of my shoulders. Dad had dealt with drug and alcohol addiction for most of my life. Anyone who has lived with or has had a close family member with an addiction knows how immensely it affects the lives of everyone around them. Stupidly I felt like that chapter in our lives was closed.

Over the past 4-5 months we have come to understand that my little brother, Justin, has been using and dealing drugs for quite some time. Although we were suspicious he had been into some trouble, due to his lack of contact with the family for several months, we had no idea how bad the situation had actually gotten. To make a very long story short he has been living with my Mom and Step-Dad since before Christmas. It has been an uphill battle but we felt as if he was making some progress- he had gotten a job, he had started going to counseling, was spending more time with the family and acting more like the old Justin we knew and loved. Over the past few days things came to a head - low and behold we find out Justin has been using again.

Mom and Dave confronted him on Monday but only by the grace of God did he confess and went to rehab without a bit of a fight. Although going to rehab is something we have tried to get him to do for several months nowI feel many emotions now that he is there. I can not believe we are having to travel down this road again in our lives. Will he stay there? Will he actually listen to what they have to say? Will he get better? What will we do with him after this 30 days is over?

Mom and I went to the facility this morning to take him his clothes and toiletries (due to the fact that they dropped him off with only the clothes on his back and a pack of cigarettes). The place is in Dickson and is absolutely beautiful. They have lots of activities and the people were very kind. We were able to meet his roommate but of-coarse we can only see Justin on family visitation days. The entire time we're there I feel this huge wave of motherly instinct just flow over me. I find myself wanting to know exactly how he is doing, is he comfortable, what did he eat for dinner last night (if anything), did he brush his teeth, is everyone being kind to him-but all the while I am hearing in the back of my head what I have been told over and over by my husband. I am powerless in this situation. There is nothing I can do to make him better. God is going to be the one orchestrating, not me.

I apologize for the ramblings I am not the best writer but I know you all understand how blogging can be therapeutic. Please pray that he will be freed from his addiction. Please pray that he will come to understand that using drugs and alcohol to escape from his hurt only makes the situation worse and could result in his death. Please pray that he finds his place in this world.

Justin is a really big guy with a huge heart and a very gentle spirit. We have watched him decline since the death of my Dad and honestly I can not remember the last time I saw him truly happy and smiling. We all love him more than he will ever know and hopefully in the future this will all be a distant but life changing memory. As in the words of recovering addicts we will continue to take it one day at a time. Thanks for your support!


Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings your glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain"

Mercy Me, "Bring the Rain"